love drinking water while taking a piss every chance i get to remind myself of my status as, ultimately, just a loud little tube with opinions
single btw
dmv: can i have you birth certificate
me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️
dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license
me: its so small and cute! 😳
dmv: just like you! ☺️
it’s so annoying seeing comments like this under videos of gay men talking or just walking around bc it’s like. do u think he doesnt know he sounds gay? do u think he doesnt know his mannerism’s make him appease feminine ? “his guns pink” “ur girly pop” “somebody’s fruity” like it’s not even jokes anymore it’s just homophobia he isnt stupid he knows that others will know hes gay that isn’t the point of his video omfg
that popcorn you love so much? yeah, its going digital.
that butter you love to pour on it? in the cloud.
the kernels that pop so well? downloaded, on a disk.
the salt you shake on top, to give it that savory bite? youre gonna need to back it up.
that lovely crunching sound? its an mp3 now.
the wonderful smell of a fresh popped bowl? gonna have to log in first.

your virtual nightmare awaits....
i dislike ascribing personality traits to corporatiosn and want to be clear that whenever i criticize overwatch development i’m putting 100% of the blame on the managers and 0% on the actual devs – but overwatch was developed so fucking arrogantly. this game needed to reinvent the wheel over and over again and would keep trundling along on a square wheel for hours while everyone was like ‘come on overwatch don’t you just want to have a round wheel’
casual players complained that the game was balanced for pro players but the clear actual design philosophy was far worse and more doomed. the overwatch devs pretty clearly wanted every character to be viable at every level of play. which sounds like a good idea if you don’t think about it too much – but it’s not! every other competitive game in the world has realised that some characters with low skill floors / ceilings need to be bad in pro play so that they don’t fucking ruin ladder play, and that some characters with very high skill floors / ceilings need to be bad in ladder play so that they don’t ruin pro play.
the more skill variance there is in a character’s mechanics – the more it’s possible to improve at using their abilities with more precise inputs and a better understanding of the macrogame – the more exponentially that character’s power will increase as you move from casual play to low-ranked play to high-ranked play to professional team play.
but the overwatch team, for whatever reason, just could not accept this, and so they alternated between making the casual game unbearable by buffing junkrat and bastion and moira because they weren’t seeing pro play and making the pro game tedious and one-dimensional by buffing widowmaker and baptiste because they had bad ladder winrates. and because overwatch had no pick-ban system and allows mirror matchups, you can’t develop a rock-paper scissors meta around a broken character or just ban them. both teams would just play the flavour of the month broken character every match!
and then – when blizzard realised this was happening – instead of instituting a pick-ban system like every other fucking competitive hero game, they decided that only they, Blizzard Entertainment, in all their wisdom, could be entrusted with the decision of which character to ban each week. and obviously completely fucked it up bigtime by using pickrate data from ladder, so being fun and therefore being played more would get characters like genji and ana constantly banned no matter how good they were. great stuff all around
Not to talk up League of Legends or anything, but League knows this intimately. That’s why champions like Garen is still in the game. Even a champion with a 0% win rate will be played (and a lot, too) in casual play! OVW is worse than League in understanding game balance.